Current music:	Cause = Time - Broken Social Scene
Entry tags:	fanfiction, lost fic

Fandom: Lost
Title: Perfect Symmetrical Mangoes
Characters: Jack, Sawyer, Kate & Juliet
Rating: R (for language)
Word Count: 493
Summary: Kate's head is decapitated and it affects the two men closes to her: Jack & Sawyer.
Note: crack!fic, has no logic in it’s plot (or lack thereof).
Disclaimer: not mine.

”Why would anyone want to kill him twice?”
“It seems so unnecessary."


“Do you think she’s okay?”

“Her head’s been cut off, James.”

“Her eyes are still open, and her body’s still over there movin’.”

“What the hell’s going on here?”

“Kate’s dead.” Juliet tilted her head. “Well, her head’s been cut off.”

Jack looked down in front of Sawyer and Juliet. There, not one foot away from them, was Kate’s decapitated head. “How long has she been like this?”

Sawyer looked at Juliet and shrugged. “I don’t know. A few minutes. Look, she ain’t really dead. She’s over there, looking for a gun. She thinks the Others took you again.”

“I just went to get some mangoes.” Jack kneeled over Kate’s decapitated head and cupped her face. “Kate, you didn’t have to come after me again.”

“Sawyer, you should go to Kate’s body. Tell her Jack’s got the rest of her face.”

Sawyer shook his head. “How the hell she supposed to listen to me if her ears are with the doc?”

“She’ll know, the moment she’s with you she thinks about Jack,” Juliet told him.

“What about when she’s with Jack?” He kneels over next to Jack and made him set the head dead. “I ain’t no doctor, but ain’t that some reverse psychology shit she be doin’ to fuck us all over?”

“I’m a fertility doctor, not a psychiatrist, but if I had to guess, I think Kate’s undecided.”

Jack looked to Sawyer. “I just went to get mangoes and now her head’s decapitated.”

“I fucked her already,” said Sawyer. “Shouldn’t that earn me some points?”

“No, wait. I think its Jack’s turn.” Juliet pulled Jack up from his near catatonic state. “You need to go get Kate’s body.”

“If she just knew about the mangoes,” Jack cried.

“Jack, she didn’t know about the mangoes because you didn’t tell her.”

“But you knew about the mangoes,” Jack cried.

“Yes, I did, Jack.”

“Then why didn’t you come after me?”

“Because sometimes, Jack, I don’t want to have mangoes.” Juliet patted his back. “Now, go to Kate’s body.”

“Who the hell am I gonna sleep with now?” Sawyer got up. “Claire’s too tiny. Nikki’s all dead. Jack’s cryin’ all the time. Charlotte’s too red. Sayid and Desmond are too busy fucking each other on the freighter!” Sawyer kicked the ground. “And now Jack’s gone off with Kate’s body. Why in the good God’s fuck does she do this shit?!”

Juliet sighed. “You could ask her head, but its grown feet and ran away.”

“What the hell are we supposed to do now?”

“We can go get some guns and shoot people.”

“There’s always that.”

“Or we can fuck behind their back to make them realize what they missed out on.”

Sawyer looked at her confused. “If we’re doing it behind there back don’t that mean they won’t know. That don’t make sense.”

Juliet patted his back, too. The men on the island stopped surprising her a long time ago. “James, it doesn’t have to make sense.”

.end

feedback is great, great, great :) (yes, saying it three times will make it sit still in your brain FOREVER)....

i will so love whoever guesses where the opening quotes are from and where the last two lines of dialogue are from.

I wanted to post this before I disappeared for the next few days. XD